Pēc lasītāju lūguma: /daži iestāvējušies humori iz sisadminu prakses/;

Sorry, par to ka tas viss ir svešā mēlē, bet `savējie` sapratīs ;) , pārējiem jāgaida kas labāks :(

IN THE BEGINNING
(To justify God`s ways to the 21st century)
#In the beginning was the computer. And God said
:Let there be light!
#You have not signed on yet.
:God.
#Enter user password.
:Omniscient.
#Password Incorrect. Try again!
:Omnipotent.
#Password Incorrect. Try again!
:Technocrat.
#And God signed on 12:01 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
:Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again!
:Create light.
#Done.
:Run heaven and earth.
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:02 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Monday, March 2.
:Let there be firmament in the midst of the water and
#Unrecognizable command! Try again!
:Create firmament.
#Done.
:Run firmament.
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
:Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let
the
dry land appear and
#Too many characters in string specification! Try again.
:Create dryland.
#Done!
:Run dryland.
#And God created Earth and Seas. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
:Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.
#Unspecified type. Try again!
:Create sunmoonstars.
#And God created Sun, Moon, Stars. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54:00.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
:Create fish.
#Done.
:Create fowl.
#Done.
:Run fish`nfowl.
#And God created the great seamonsters and every living creature that
creepeth where with the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged
fowl
after its kind. 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.
#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Friday, March 6.
:Create cattle.
#Done.
:Create creepy things.
#Done.
:Now let us make man in our image.
#Unspecified type! Try again.
:Create man.
#Done.
:Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over of the fowl of the air and
over
every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.
#Too many command operands! Try again.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
: breath.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
:Move man to Garden of Eden.
#File Garden of Eden does not exist.
:Create Gard.En.
#Done.
:Move man to Gard.En.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.
:Copy woman from man.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
: woman into man.
#Illegal parameters. Try again!
: man into woman.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
:Create desire.
#Done.
:Run multiplication.
#And God saw man`nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Create freewill.
#Done.
:Run freewill.
#And God saw man`nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Undo desire.
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
:Destroy freewill.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
:Help!
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
:Create Treeofknowledge.
#And God saw man`nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Create good`nevil.
#Done.
:Activate evil.
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning: System error in sector E95. Man`nwoman not in Gard.En.
#1 errors.
:Scan Gard.En. for man`nwoman.
#Man`nwoman cannot be located. Try again!
:Search Gard.En. for man`nwoman.
#Search failed.
: shame.
#Shame cannot be d once evil has been activated.
:Destroy freewill.
#Freewill an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
:Stop!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
:Break
:Break
:Break
#ATTENTION ALL USERS ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR
DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE SIGN OFF.
:Create new world.
#You have exceeded your allotted file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
:Destroy earth.
#Destroy earth. Please confirm.
:Destroy earth confirmed.
#COMPUTER DOWN. COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME ON SUNDAY MARCH 8 AT
6:00 A.M. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW!
#And God signed off at 11:59 p.m., Friday, March 6.
#And God saw he had zero funds remaining.

Un vel kaut kas tajā pašā mēlē...

IF OPERATING SYSTEMS WERE AIRLINES.......

If operating systems were airlines.....

> DOS Air: All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of
> the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off
> when it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again,
> push it back into the air, hop on, et cetera.
>
> Mac Airways: The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look
> the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions
> about the flight, they reply that you don`t want to know, don`t
> need to know and would you please return to your Seat and watch the
> movie.
>
> Airlines: The terminal is very neat and clean, the
> attendants all very attractive, the pilots very capable. The
> fleet of Learjets the carrier operates is immense. Your jet
> takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at
> 20,000 feet it explodes without warning.
>
> OS/2 Skyways: The terminal is almost empty, with only a few
> prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their
> flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there
> are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around,
> apologizing profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from
> time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the
> field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be
> on these new jets and how much safer it will be than
> Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for
> the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until
> mid-1995. Maybe longer.
>
> Fly NT: All the passengers carry their seats out onto the
> tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit
> down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are
> flying.
>
> Unix Express: all passenger bring a piece of the airplane and a
> box of tools with them to the airport. They gather on the tarmac,
> arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build
> and how to put it together. Eventually, the passengers split into
> groups and build several different aircraft, but give them all
> the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations.
> All passengers believe they got there.
>
> Wings of OS/400: The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably
> the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on
> their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight
> attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the
> drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless
> you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and
> membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but
> your accounting department can call it overhead.
>
> MVS Air Lines: The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching
> hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense,
> luxury aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over
> 1,000 passengers; bigger models in the fleet can have more
> engines than anyone can count and fly even more passengers than
> there are on Earth. It is claimed to cost less per passenger
> mile to operate these humungous planes than any other aircraft
> ever built, unless you personally have to pay for the ticket.
> All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the 200 technicians
> needed to keep it from crashing. The pilot takes his place up in
> the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realize that the
> plane is too big to get through the hangar doors. -